For the fourth week of May, I got stuck with Ride Along 2 (2016). This is a movie I had no expectations for. In the draft, Maxwell said that he refuses to watch anything with Kevin Hart in it (which I mostly agree with, I would not go out of my way to watch a Kevin Hart movie solely because he was in it). Ice Cube, who plays opposite Kevin Hart in this movie, is also not an actor that has any draw for me. I don’t know if I’ve ever willingly watched a movie he was involved with. This was a long way to say that I had low to no expectations for this movie. I had not seen the first one, didn’t know anything about the backstory or what was in store for me.

I won’t say that this one “shattered” my expectations, but I did find myself enjoying some aspects of it. The first, and probably best part of this whole movie, was the completely ridiculous opening credits. More movies need to utilize opening credits. It’s a great part of the art that we have lost in modern film making for some reason. There is a comical chase scene that the movie opens with, and they slowed down each section of it, like when the windshield is shot out and flashed opening credits on scene. This part was actually really fun to watch and fairly interesting to the viewer. I cannot say that the interest was held for much of this movie however. The plot was subpar, the acting over the top, and the action sequences that followed were a bit tedious and drawn out in my opinion, like the on foot chase scene when they’re going after Ken Jeong’s character through the various yards and alleys. 

I know earlier in my review, I said that I did enjoy this more than I thought I would… However, an expectation of hating this and feeling like I wasted 100 minutes of my life, as I write this review, I am once again realizing how little to this film there was that was good. I have said it all and only used 300 words, when Maxwell and I aim for 1000 words for each of our reviews as our metric.

This movie has a 5.9 on IMDB, a higher rating than I expected it to. Only a 15% on the Tomatometer. I think even that is too high of a rating for what this movie ultimately was. It has a 2.5/5 on Letterboxd, which translates to a 50%. That is obscenely high for a movie of this caliber. There is a great comment on Letterboxd from Blain LaMotta who gave this movie an appropriate 0.5, “If you’ve seen Ride Along, you’ve seen Ride Along 2. If you’ve seen Ride Along 2, you’ve seen nothing of interest.” Well put Blain Lamotta, well put.

As a common theme on this blog, I will now look at the metrics for how well Ride Along 2 did in the theaters a decade ago. With a budget of $40 million, this movie made $35 million back opening weekend. I would call that  a success. Overall, it made $91 million in the US and Canada, and $121 million worldwide. Tripling your budget is, on paper, a success story. I cannot fathom the kind of person that filled the seats for this movie opening weekend. I didn’t even know this movie existed, nor that two of them were made. The average American, and average movie goer, has vastly different tastes than I do. As someone who loves movies, I rarely make my way to the theater to watch them.

The characterization in this movie was just okay, every character feels like a cartoon character, and not in a particularly fun or interesting way. It feels over the top and tiresome for the most part. Especially Kevin Hart’s acting. But that’s to be expected from a role that he is playing. To add to this, Ice Cube has been in exactly zero movies that I have ever said “Oh, Ice Cube is in this? I wanna see it now.” The same sentiment applies to Kevin Hart for that matter.

Ultimately, this movie was a smidge more fun and enjoyable than I thought it would be. But I am also mentally comparing it to my previous week’s movie, The Hustle (2019) which was abhorrently awful. When I see it in my recently watched on Amazon Prime now, I cringe internally at being reminded that it exists at all. I at least didn’t hate Ride Along 2 on that level. 

I know earlier I said that the goal is 1000 words for each review that Maxwell and I post on this blog, but I am out of things to say about Ride Along 2, and only at 800 or so words now. If you’re counting my words to hold me to my word, good for you. I will give you a high five if we ever meet in person.

-0.5 mallards/5

-Seann

In my youth (meaning during the time I was in film school at the University of Tennessee, so more like my late teens and early 20’s) I had a slight fascination with movies that were created to be viewed by tween-age girls. The reasons for this fascination elude me even today (perhaps a psychoanalyst would have a theory about this…) but I think the interesting aspect to me was that their structure was so unlike that of Hollywood movies at the time. They were more like a series of slightly inter-connected vignettes, which appealed to me, as I was also reading and writing a lot of short stories. I particularly enjoyed the Mary-Kate and Ashley movies, and I secretly (although it’s not a secret now that I’ve typed it) hope we get one selected for us by the randomizer. I’ll be picking it first. 

That being said, Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale (2010) is one that I had not seen before. I tended to stay away from the animated girl movies in favor of the live-action ones, something that I still do to this day. This movie was made right at a time when exciting things were happening in the world of animation. Avatar (2009), the highest-grossing film of all time (animated or otherwise) came out just a year prior to this movie, and the biggest contributing factor to its success was the visual appeal. While this Barbie movie had a very different audience and a very different budget than Avatar (2009), it’s hard to dispute that the winds of change were reaching the medium of film.  

I suppose this would be an appropriate point at which to write a bit about how I review movies such as this, meaning movies that are created for such a niche and specific audience that I happen to not fall into. I honestly don’t approach them any differently, to but it simply. Many movies I’ve reviewed on this blog have not been targeted at me. Any of the movies that were made specifically to appeal to the common man (such as Ghostbusters, Rampage, In Time, etc.) are not really made for me, which I know sounds pretty pretentious or like I’m saying I’m more discerning than the average film viewer, but I promise you it’s actually so much worse than that. I actively despise movies that are made with the sole purpose of making money – I find them soulless, and the people involved with them artistically and aesthetically bankrupt. The same problem most people have with Imagine Dragons (or any other ‘co-worker music’ act) is the problem I have with things like the Fast & Furious film franchise, etc.  

Ergo, I’m not going to be writing about this movie and if it accomplishes its goals of appealing to twelve year-old girls. Instead I’m going to be writing about this movie in a vacuum, as if it was created as an artistic statement for the purposes of cultural and aesthetic fulfillment. With that in mind, this movie is brilliant.  

What is so good about it? Well, quite frankly, everything. The plot itself is dynamic, with interweaving storylines, character motivations and developments, an over-arching theme that touches on the human condition (though this is somewhat inconsistent, as I’ll mention  later). Not only that, but the question at the heart of the movie is a question related to art and the creation of art itself, making this movie almost a meta-commentary. Despite being a movie for young girls to watch at a slumber party while they eat ice cream and paint their fingernails, this may be one of the smartest and most cerebral movies I’ve watched for the purposes of the blog.  

The script is a high point for this movie. It’s often funny, charming, and obviously whimsical. The story is somewhat straightforward, but moves at a breakneck pace. It’s hard to believe so much action is packed into a run-time of only 79 minutes (including an opening and closing credits scene). This movie doesn’t let up – there’s no fluff, filler, or wasted space. What few moments of down-time we experience are filled with a great original soundtrack made specifically for the movie.  

As mentioned earlier, while the animation is not up to snuff with the big animated blockbusters that were being released around this time, it was consistent. After learning how to ‘read’ the movie, the animation sort of faded into the background and I was absorbed into the world of Barbie and the animated Paris which sets the stage for the film. It’s amazing to me that every character (that gets a decent amount of screen time) undergoes some sort of development, even the pets (one cat and two dogs). There are movies three times as long as this that have flatter characters.  

The film is not without its issues, however. There are a couple plot holes. How can the Flairies change Ken’s outfit at the end, when it is described earlier on in the movie that they are only able to glitterize outfits that they deem worthy? Ken’s ripped pants, pig-eaten shirt, and dirty shoes cannot possibly appeal to the Flairies. The moral question set forth twice in the first act (is it worth it to do something you’re passionate about, even if it’s not well-received by others?) is thought-provoking, and while there can certainly be some interesting dialogue around this question, when we get to the brink of an answer, a different question is raised entirely. The inconsistency of the main dilemma does hinder the ending a bit, and I would like to have gotten more input one way or another.  

Additionally, there are some missed opportunities. One of my (and London’s) favorite characters was the man in the hot dog costume, who is trying to buy Millicent’s and turn it into a “hotdogeteria”. He’s present for the fashion show at the end, in which the Flairies are working their magic on Barbie and Alice’s designs – why did his hot dog costume not get glammerized? I would have loved to have seen what they did to his hot dog costume, but the pay-off never happened. What a shame.  

Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale (2010) has a score of 6.6 out of 10 on IMDB, a Rotten Tomatoes tomatometer score of 71%, and a Letterboxd score of 3.9 out of 5. This is the first time that a movie I’ve reviewed has a higher Letterboxd score than the other two. Usually Letterboxd is the “snobbier” of the three main review sites, but I think the users of that site are usually more correct as well. This movie really is a gem that is hard to wrap your mind around. It’s well-made, consistent, funny, nostalgic, charming, and many other good adjectives. It’s not something I would put on with the boys while we sit around and drink beers, but it’s definitely something I would recommend to a young person looking for a movie. Crazy though it may be, this is going into the rarified air of things like Scarface for me. Take an hour and a half and give it a watch if you think I’m being disingenuous – you won’t regret it.  

-4 mallards/5 

-Maxwell