Mallards Movies

Two guys watching random movies and giving our genuine thoughts on them.

reviews

  • September 2026: Week 3 – xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) Game Over, Man! (2018)

    For this week’s movie, I ended up with xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017). A movie that while watching, I found myself asking “who asked for this?” The third in a trilogy that I’m not sure was popular or well received in the first place, that was released TWELVE years after the last one. I… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 2 – Eraser (1996) Three Days of the Condor (1975)

    In a world of Government Conspiracy, and advanced weapons technology, friend of the blog, Arnold Schwarzenegger is: THE ERASER. Eraser (1996) is a slight sci-fi action thriller about a man, ERASER (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who is a U.S. Marshal that works for WITSEC (Witness Security Protection Program), and he does just what you’d expect: he “erases”… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 5 (Partner’s Edition) Filth (2013)

    Hello, again! Sarah is back, and I’ve been upgraded from girlfriend to fiancée! My movie this week was Filth (2013) and boy howdy was it wild! We start off by seeing a beautiful blonde (Carole, Shauna Macdonald) getting ready in her house, with a very seductive film noir feel to the scene. She offers the… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 3 – Cliffhanger (1993) Ken Park (2002)

    My movie for the third week of August was another one that I know I had seen as a kid with my dad. I’m pretty sure he had a copy on VHS back then. Cliffhanger (1993), an action packed, over the (mountain) top film.  This line in the opening credits is one of the best… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 2 – Shattered (2007) (AKA Butterfly on a Wheel) Last Vegas (2013)

    My movie this week was something I had never heard of, and honestly had a hard time finding a way to watch, as it was originally released as Butterfly on a Wheel (2007) in Canada and the UK, and that was the title in which it appeared on our monthly draft board. However, in the… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 1 – Naked (1993) Boogie Nights (1997)

    For the first week of August, I was able to choose the first selection. Once we rolled the dice, Maxwell said “Oh one of my favorite movies is here this month.” So naturally, I asked which one (I was secretly hoping his answer would be “Toy Story Toons: Small Fry (2011).”) However, the actual answer… Read more

  • July 2026: Week 4 – Joker (2019) A Carpool Karaoke Christmas (2024)

    For my final week of July, I was stuck with a movie that neither Maxwell, nor I wanted to watch: Joker (2019)… I’m going to start off with my overall thoughts on this movie: It was actually pretty just okay. I was surprised by how much I didn’t hate it, but also it left me… Read more

  • July 2026: Week 3 – Otherhood (2019) Firewall (2006)

    For my movie this week, I randomly took a stab in the dark and ended up with Otherhood (2019). I was really trying to avoid the movie that I am unfortunately stuck with for next week… But that’s something I’ll write about next week. Anyway, this is a movie that is so far from my… Read more

  • July 2026: Week 2 – It Comes At Night (2017) The Awakening (2011)

    For the second week of July, Maxwell chose one of the two horror movies in the draft, so I immediately chose the other one as my pick. Maxwell is someone who doesn’t typically watch horror or enjoy that genre as a whole, while I am someone who has a love for horror and enjoys seeing… Read more

  • July 2026: Week 1 – Upside Down (2012) Papillon (2017)

    My first selection for July was a complete shot in the dark at a movie I had never heard of, Upside Down (2012). A grandiose love story about a universe with twin planets. This movie starts off in an entirely aggravating way, the opening monologue is only four and a half minutes in length, but… Read more