Mallards Movies

Two guys watching random movies and giving our genuine thoughts on them.

  • Mallards Introduction

    Hello, and welcome to Mallards Movies – we’re glad you’re here. Mallards Movies began with two guys who loved to watch movies, write, and make jokes about them. If you’re here, there’s a good chance you enjoy those things as well.  The format of the blog is simple: At the beginning of each month, eight… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 3 – xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) Game Over, Man! (2018)

    For this week’s movie, I ended up with xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017). A movie that while watching, I found myself asking “who asked for this?” The third in a trilogy that I’m not sure was popular or well received in the first place, that was released TWELVE years after the last one. I… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 2 – Eraser (1996) Three Days of the Condor (1975)

    In a world of Government Conspiracy, and advanced weapons technology, friend of the blog, Arnold Schwarzenegger is: THE ERASER. Eraser (1996) is a slight sci-fi action thriller about a man, ERASER (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who is a U.S. Marshal that works for WITSEC (Witness Security Protection Program), and he does just what you’d expect: he “erases”… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 1 – Twin Peaks aka Northwest Passage (1989) Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

    For the first movie of September, I believe Maxwell and I each chose an easy layup of a pick. He chose Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (a movie that we have both discussed and referenced a lot over our friendship), and I chose Twin Peaks (Pilot), also known as Northwest Passage (1989),… Read more

  • September Movies List

    Here are the movies and the dates on tap for this month, September 2026. Since Seann picked first last month, Maxwell picked first this month.  Quite the selection! Here’s the draft order and review release dates: 9/6/2026 Maxwell: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) Seann: Twin Peaks (1989) 9/13/2026 Maxwell: Three Days of… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 5 (Partner’s Edition) Filth (2013)

    Hello, again! Sarah is back, and I’ve been upgraded from girlfriend to fiancée! My movie this week was Filth (2013) and boy howdy was it wild! We start off by seeing a beautiful blonde (Carole, Shauna Macdonald) getting ready in her house, with a very seductive film noir feel to the scene. She offers the… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 4 – Forever My Girl (2018) Toy Story Toons: Small Fry (2011)

    For my movie this week, I chose Forever My Girl (2018). Normally this isn’t a movie I would ever sit down and watch. I’m not one for sappy romance movies, and especially not when they feature a country music star and the southern small town as main plot points. Despite that, I actually liked this… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 3 – Cliffhanger (1993) Ken Park (2002)

    My movie for the third week of August was another one that I know I had seen as a kid with my dad. I’m pretty sure he had a copy on VHS back then. Cliffhanger (1993), an action packed, over the (mountain) top film.  This line in the opening credits is one of the best… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 2 – Shattered (2007) (AKA Butterfly on a Wheel) Last Vegas (2013)

    My movie this week was something I had never heard of, and honestly had a hard time finding a way to watch, as it was originally released as Butterfly on a Wheel (2007) in Canada and the UK, and that was the title in which it appeared on our monthly draft board. However, in the… Read more

  • August 2026: Week 1 – Naked (1993) Boogie Nights (1997)

    For the first week of August, I was able to choose the first selection. Once we rolled the dice, Maxwell said “Oh one of my favorite movies is here this month.” So naturally, I asked which one (I was secretly hoping his answer would be “Toy Story Toons: Small Fry (2011).”) However, the actual answer… Read more

  • August Movie List

    Here are the movies and the dates on tap for this month, August 2026. Since Maxwell picked first last month, Seann picked first this month. August is our second month with five Sundays, so we’ve decided again to have (actual) friends of the blog, Sarah and London, write guest reviews again for the BONUS WEEK.… Read more