Mallards Movies

Two guys watching random movies and giving our genuine thoughts on them.

  • Mallards Introduction

    Hello, and welcome to Mallards Movies – we’re glad you’re here. Mallards Movies began with two guys who loved to watch movies, write, and make jokes about them. If you’re here, there’s a good chance you enjoy those things as well.  The format of the blog is simple: At the beginning of each month, eight… Read more

  • November: Week 1 – The Simpsons Movie (2007) Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970)

    For the first week of November, I chose what I consider a classic by today’s standards, The Simpsons Movie (2007). I am a lifelong fan of The Simpsons. One of my “special talents” as I like to call it is that I have seen every episode of the series to date. It’s a show I… Read more

  • November 2026 Movies List

    Here are the movies and the dates on tap for this month, November 2026. Since Seann picked first last month, Maxwell picked first this month. November is our third month with five Sundays, so we’ve decided again to have (actual) friends of the blog, London and Sarah, write guest reviews again for the BONUS WEEK.… Read more

  • October 2026: Week 4 – The Omen (2006) The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (2014)

    For the last week of October, I chose The Omen (2006) as my movie. I was not super thrilled with this pick, but I also did not want to watch The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1, as I think that series had a huge fall off and felt stale by that point. The Omen… Read more

  • October 2026: week 3 – Trouble with the Curve (2012) The Watchers (2024)

    For the third week of October 2026, I chose a movie I had never heard of before, and a movie that wasn’t The Hunger Game: Mockinjay Part 1 so I could hopefully force Maxwell to have to watch that one… So I chose Trouble with the Curve (2012). Honestly, I wish I hadn’t. This movie… Read more

  • October 2026: Week 2 – Lions for Lambs (2007) We Are Still Here (2015)

    For this week’s review, I chose a completely random stab in the dark movie I had never heard (and honestly wish I never had after having watched it for the blog…), Lions for Lambs (2007). This entire movie felt like it was trying so hard to be something big and provocative, a real “Oscar Nominee”… Read more

  • October 2026: Week 1 – Jackie Brown (1997) The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015)

    For the first week of October, I got to select first in the draft, and I of course took the obvious pick that we both wanted: Jackie Brown (1997). Inarguably Quentin Tarantino’s best movie he’s ever made. I had seen this movie as a teen (another one that my dad owned on DVD and would… Read more

  • October 2026 Movies List

    Here are the movies and the dates on tap for this month, October 2026. Since Maxwell picked first last month, Seann picked first this month. Quite the selection! Here’s the draft order and review release dates: 10/4/2026 Seann: Jackie Brown (1997) Maxwell: The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) 10/11/2026 Seann: Lions for Lambs (2007)… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 4 – Cinderella (2021) Running on Empty (2024)

    For the last week of September, I got stuck with a movie that neither of us wanted to watch, Cinderella (2021). An Amazon Prime “Original”. The movie poster alone for this one already pissed me off. How the hell are you going to sit here and sell the story of Cinderella to me as an… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 3 – xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) Game Over, Man! (2018)

    For this week’s movie, I ended up with xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017). A movie that while watching, I found myself asking “who asked for this?” The third in a trilogy that I’m not sure was popular or well received in the first place, that was released TWELVE years after the last one. I… Read more

  • September 2026: Week 2 – Eraser (1996) Three Days of the Condor (1975)

    In a world of Government Conspiracy, and advanced weapons technology, friend of the blog, Arnold Schwarzenegger is: THE ERASER. Eraser (1996) is a slight sci-fi action thriller about a man, ERASER (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who is a U.S. Marshal that works for WITSEC (Witness Security Protection Program), and he does just what you’d expect: he “erases”… Read more